Opinion

By Chukwudi George Ozalla

One of the most troubling shifts in social behaviour today is the normalisation of asking for money to solve basic needs within friendships and casual relationships.
What should ordinarily be a matter of personal responsibility is now often transferred to others, sometimes with pressure, expectation, and irritation when assistance is not given.
There is a clear difference between genuine hardship and a lifestyle built around dependence. The concern here is not people facing real emergencies, but those who turn financial requests into a pattern of living. In many cases, what is presented as need is not need at all, but desire dressed as necessity.
It becomes more troubling when individuals who struggle with basic survival still expect others to fund non-essential lifestyles, including outings, purchase of latest gadgets, celebrations, and social activities they cannot afford.

There is also the repeated habit of reducing money during requests. It is common to hear statements like “it is just 10,000 naira” or “it is only 20,000 naira,” as though these sums carry no weight. But if such amounts are truly small, then why are they not readily available to the person requesting them?
Money does not lose value because it is casually described. What sounds small in conversation may represent real sacrifice in reality. 20,000 naira may be transport for days, food for a family, or part of rent or medical care.

A recurring pattern follows this behaviour. Those who frequently ask rarely stop at one request. Today it is 10,000 naira, tomorrow 20,000, and next week another excuse. Over time, the same individuals move from one person to another, quietly building a cycle of dependence. When help is not available, past generosity is often forgotten.

It becomes even more concerning when practical advice is offered and ignored. In several cases, legitimate ways to earn are suggested, yet there is little interest in working or building something sustainable. The idea of effort is often treated with indifference, while the expectation of receiving remains constant.

There are also situations where individuals are connected to opportunities that could improve their lives. Some benefit briefly, then return later still asking for basic support as though nothing had been offered. At that point, the cycle of assistance without progress becomes difficult to ignore.

In other cases, money is lent in good faith and never returned. Promises are made, timelines are given, yet repayment does not happen, and trust gradually erodes. What once began as goodwill slowly turns into regret and withdrawal.

Even more frustrating is when people are introduced into useful networks or given access to opportunities, only for that goodwill to be taken for granted. Instead of growth, entitlement becomes the pattern, and the value of assistance is diminished.

There is also a wider social pattern where financial dependence is tied to relationships in unhealthy ways. Some seek partners primarily for financial support in exchange for intimacy, replacing mutual growth with transaction rather than shared development. It reflects a growing discomfort with effort, patience, and self-building.
What remains consistent is the avoidance of productive struggle. Many are unwilling to build anything sustainable. The focus remains immediate money, repeated requests, and dependence, even when opportunities for honest work exist.

And the truth is that many earn legitimately online without stepping out of their homes.

This behaviour creates fatigue in relationships. It becomes difficult to separate genuine need from habitual dependence, and it discourages people from helping even when real need exists.

At the core of it is a simple truth. Adult life requires responsibility. Everyone is expected to find a way to meet their needs without continuously shifting that burden onto others.

Our society cannot function on endless dependence. It functions when people respect effort, take responsibility for their lives, and understand that nobody is obligated to finance another person’s survival or keep listening to the same old story over and over again.