Perspective
By Chukwudi George Ozalla
Marriage at its core is a partnership between two individuals who commit to building a life together through shared responsibilities, mutual respect, and genuine affection. Too often, however, it is treated as a transactional arrangement, where one party leverages material wealth, social status, or even sexual access to extract commitment or control from the other. This approach erodes trust, diminishes intimacy, and turns what should be a partnership into a quiet contest of leverage and obligation.
Many women in Nigeria today feel pressured to secure a man’s financial support as a prerequisite for respect, stability, or social validation. In response, some resort to offering intimacy or companionship as currency, believing it is their only means to claim security or meet societal expectations. This dynamic is deeply demeaning, not only to those who feel compelled to operate within it, but also to those who are valued solely for what they can provide rather than who they are. Men too are affected by this distortion, often reduced to providers or financial guarantors instead of being seen as full partners with emotional depth, vulnerability, and equal human worth.
At the same time, there are men whose only focus is to seek out hardworking and successful women, not for partnership, but for extraction. These men enter relationships or marriages with the intent to dominate, control, and live off a woman’s labour and resources, only to divert those same resources to appease other women outside the relationship. This pattern is not limited to marriage alone. It is equally present in dating relationships where emotional manipulation replaces commitment and affection is feigned to gain access to money, influence, or social standing. This too is exploitation, and it corrodes the moral foundation of any union.
Financial stability on its own does not guarantee marital harmony. Wealthy couples are not immune to crisis, betrayal, or emotional collapse, and many dissolve despite abundant resources. Once material needs are met, provision can quickly shift from being appreciated to being assumed. Attention then turns to other unmet needs such as emotional presence, loyalty, communication, or intimacy. When these are absent, money offers no insulation from breakdown. Marital satisfaction and resilience do not flow from income alone but from consistent care, honesty, and shared effort.
Marriage founded on leverage rather than mutual commitment rarely endures. Where one partner feels coerced, pressured, or manipulated, resentment quietly grows. Emotional intimacy thins out, communication becomes guarded, and affection turns performative. Some couples remain together for appearances, social pressure, or material comfort, yet the deeper bond that sustains marriages through difficulty is absent.
True partnership demands reciprocity. Loving and giving ought to go hand in hand, not enforced through coercion, emotional blackmail, cajoling, or inflated expectations placed on one partner alone. A critical question must be asked honestly by anyone entering a relationship or marriage. Whatever you expect from your partner, can you also offer the same in return? If the answer is no, then the foundation is already unstable.
This reflection is not an endorsement of indolence or a dismissal of responsibility. Marriage requires effort, discipline, and contribution from both sides. Highlighting the excesses and unrealistic expectations of some women, just as calling out exploitative tendencies among some men, exposes how individuals sometimes reduce themselves or others to tools of survival or convenience. When that happens, the possibility of authentic partnership is weakened.
Social pressure, cultural conditioning, and family expectations often push people toward transactional thinking in marriage. Resisting that pull requires self-awareness and courage. Building a union on partnership rather than pressure means choosing respect over entitlement, cooperation over control, and shared growth over personal gain.
For marriage to truly serve as a source of stability, fulfilment, and shared purpose, both partners must approach it as equals. Responsibilities should be discussed openly, contributions valued beyond money, and intimacy allowed to grow naturally rather than being negotiated or exchanged. Only under such conditions can marriage remain what it is meant to be, a union grounded in mutual respect, shared sacrifice, and enduring love.
Publisher and Editor-in-Chief, NEWSCOUNT
